To Clementina the Patrician, on Holding Grudges

Gregory to Clementina, and so on. [a] A certain abbot has told us that some slanderers have told your glory that we bear a grudge against you. If this is so, whoever made up this story has been two-faced toward you under a show of sincerity, so as to make themselves look loyal while wickedly making you doubt us. But I, glorious daughter, have long known your good qualities, and especially the chastity that has been your companion since your youth, and I have always regarded you with great respect and affection. And so that your glory may not suspect even now that my heart has changed, I declare that there is not a grain of ill will or anger toward you in me. Be assured, rather, that I hold a father’s affection for you. One thing, however, that has been told me I ought not to pass over in silence, lest love should begin to grow less if what needs to be said for your correction were kept back.

For I have been told that when anyone has offended you, you hold on to the hurt and never let it go. Now if this is true, then since the more I love you the more it grieves me, I beg you to rid yourself of this fault nobly, and not to let the enemy’s seed grow to the harm of your crop of good works. Call to mind the words of the Lord’s Prayer, and do not let blame win out over pardon in you. Let the goodness of your glory get the better of offenses. By wholesome forgiveness, make the offender more devoted to you than unrelenting harshness can make him disloyal. Leave him what may make him ashamed, and do not keep up what may grieve him. For wise forgiveness usually does more to correct a man than strictness in exacting punishment; so much so that sometimes the one makes a man more loyal and submissive, while the other makes him stubborn and spiteful. We do not say this to you so that you should lessen your zeal for righteousness, but so that you may not be, in the least things, what you ought to be in the greatest. For if ever the nature of an offense calls for severity, it should be dealt with in such a way that the punishment corrects the fault, and grace is not denied afterward to those who have been corrected. Since, then, we warn you out of a father’s affection for your soul’s good, receive our words with the love in which they are spoken, and take them to heart for your glory’s own benefit, so that your good qualities may shine more clearly before men and be very pure before Almighty God. But count on us confidently in all things, dearest daughter, as indeed you may; and since we always want to hear that all is well with you, refresh us often with your letters. [b]