What Paul Saw on the Road to Damascus

That is why, when he was pleading his case before King Agrippa and other judges of this world, he spoke as follows: “When I was going to Damascus with authority and permission from the chief priests, at midday, O king, I saw on the way a light from heaven, brighter than the sun, shining around me and all who were with me. And when we had all fallen to the ground, I heard a voice saying to me in the Hebrew language, ‘Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me? It is hard for you to kick against the goad.’ And I said, ‘Who are you, Lord?’ And the Lord said to me, ‘I am Jesus of Nazareth, whom you are persecuting.’” You see how truly the apostle said that he no longer knew according to the flesh one whom he had seen in such splendor and majesty. As he lay face down and saw the splendor of that divine light, which he could not endure, this voice followed: “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?” And when he asked who it might be, the Lord answered and clearly showed who he was: “I am Jesus of Nazareth, whom you are persecuting.” [a]

Now then, you heretic, I ask you, I call on you. Do you believe what the apostle says about himself, or do you not? Or if you think that of little weight, do you believe what the Lord says about himself, or do you not? If you do believe it, the matter is settled, for you cannot help believing what we believe. We, like the apostle, even if we have known Christ according to the flesh, know him so no longer. We do not heap insults on Christ. We do not separate the flesh from the divinity; and all that is in Christ we believe to be in God. If, then, you believe what we believe, you must acknowledge the same mysteries of the faith. But if you differ from us, if you refuse to believe the churches, the apostle, yes, and God’s own testimony about himself, then show us in this vision the apostle saw how much is flesh and how much is God. For I cannot separate the one from the other here. I see the unspeakable light, I see the inexpressible splendor, I see the radiance that human weakness cannot endure, and, beyond what mortal eyes can bear, the glory of God shining with a light beyond imagining. What room is there here for division and separation? In the voice we hear Jesus; in the majesty we see God. How can we help believing that God and Jesus exist in one and the same personal substance?

But I would like to have a few more words with you on this subject. Tell me, please: suppose that, in your present persecution of the catholic faith, the same vision appeared to you that appeared to the apostle in his ignorance. Suppose that, when you were not expecting it and were off your guard, that radiance shone all around you, and the glory of that boundless light struck you in your terror and confusion, and you lay face down in darkness of body and soul, a darkness made worse by the boundless and indescribable terror of your heart. Tell me, I beg you: when the dread of immediate death was pressing on you, and the terror of the glory threatening you from above weighed you down, and in your bewilderment you heard the words your sin so richly deserves, “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?”, and when you asked who it was, the answer came from heaven, “I am Jesus of Nazareth, whom you are persecuting,” what would you say? “I do not know; I do not yet fully believe. I want to think a little longer by myself about who I think you are, you who speak from heaven, who overwhelm me with the brightness of your divinity, whose voice I hear and whose splendor I cannot bear. I must consider this matter: whether I ought to believe you or not; whether you are Christ or God; if you are God alone, whether it is in Christ; if you are Christ alone, whether it is in God. I want this distinction carefully kept, and full thought given to what we should believe you are and what we should judge you to be. For I do not want any of my acts of worship to be wasted, as they would be if I regarded you as a man and yet paid you some divine honors.” If you were lying on the ground as the apostle Paul lay then, overwhelmed by the brightness of the divine light and at your last gasp, perhaps you would say this, and babble on with all this silly chatter.

But what are we to make of the fact that the apostle took another course? When he had fallen down, trembling and half dead, he did not think he ought to hide his belief any longer, or to deliberate. It was enough for him to have been taught, by proofs beyond words, that the one he had ignorantly imagined to be a man was God. He did not hide his belief; he made no delay. He did not drag out his mistaken ideas any longer by deliberating and disbelieving. As soon as he heard from heaven the name of Jesus his Lord, he answered in a voice subdued like a servant’s, trembling like that of one who has been flogged, and full of fervor like that of one converted: “What shall I do, Lord?” And so at once, for his ready and earnest faith, it was granted to him never to be without the presence of the one he had faithfully believed, and that the one to whom he had passed over in heart should himself pass into his heart. As the apostle says of himself, “Are you looking for proof of Christ who speaks in me?”