Sin Even in the Hour of Prayer

Whoever, then, claims sinlessness for human nature must fight, not against idle words, but against the witness and proof of his own conscience, which is on our side. He may maintain that he is without sin only when he finds that he is not torn away from this highest good. Or rather, to say no more, whoever looks into his own conscience and finds that he has celebrated even a single service without being distracted by a single word or deed or thought may say that he is without sin. Further, because we admit that the wandering fickleness of the human mind cannot get rid of these idle and empty things, it follows that we truly confess that we are not without sin. For however carefully a man tries to guard his heart, he can never keep it as his spirit desires, because the nature of the flesh resists him. [a]

However far the human mind has advanced and progressed toward a finer purity of contemplation, the more unclean it will see itself to be, as if in the mirror of its own purity. For while the soul lifts itself up toward a loftier vision, and, looking ahead, longs for greater things than it actually does, it is sure always to despise as low and worthless the things in which it is caught up. For keener sight notices more; a blameless life, when fault is found in it, produces greater sorrow; and amendment of life and earnest striving after goodness multiply groans and sighs. No one can rest content with the stage he has reached. However much a man is purified in mind, the more foul he sees himself to be, and the more he finds grounds for being humbled rather than for pride. And however swiftly he climbs to greater heights, the more he sees above him still, the place toward which he is heading.

Finally, that chosen apostle “whom Jesus loved,” who lay on his bosom, spoke this saying as if from the very heart of the Lord: “If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.” And so, if when we say that we have no sin we do not have the truth, that is, Christ, in us, what do we gain except to prove ourselves, by that very claim, criminals and wicked among sinners?