Why the Perfect Should Forget Their Sins

But as to what you said a little earlier, that you deliberately go over the memories of past sins: this certainly ought not to be done. On the contrary, if such a memory forces its way in on you, it must be driven out at once. For it greatly hinders the soul from the contemplation of purity, especially in one who is living in solitude, since it entangles him in the stains of this world and swamps him in foul sins. For while you are recalling the things you did through ignorance or wantonness, following the prince of this world, even granting that no delight in them steals in while you are busy with these thoughts, still the mere taint of the old filthiness is sure to corrupt your soul with its foul stench, and to shut out the spiritual fragrance of goodness, that is, the scent of a pleasing aroma. [a]

So when the memory of past sins comes over your mind, you must recoil from it, just as an honest and upright man runs away if an immodest and wanton woman accosts him in public, whether with words or with embraces. And certainly, unless he withdraws at once from contact with her, if he lets himself linger even the least bit in impure talk, then even if he refuses his consent to the shameful pleasures, he still cannot escape the brand of disgrace and scorn in the judgment of everyone passing by. So we too, if harmful memories lead us into thoughts of this kind, ought at once to stop dwelling on them, and to carry out what Solomon commands us: “But go away,” he says, “do not linger in her place, and do not fix your eye on her.” Otherwise, if the angels see us taken up with unclean and foul thoughts, they may not be able to say to us as they pass by: “The blessing of the Lord be upon you.”

For the soul cannot continue in good thoughts when the main part of the heart is taken up with foul and earthly concerns. For this saying of Solomon’s is true: “When your eyes look on a forbidden woman, then your mouth will speak wickedly, and you will lie as if in the middle of the sea, and like a pilot in a great storm. But you will say, ‘They beat me, but I felt no pain; they mocked me, but I did not notice.’” So we should leave behind not only all foul thoughts but even all earthly ones, and always raise the desires of our soul to heavenly things, as our Savior says: “For where I am,” he says, “there my servant will be also.” For it often happens that when someone, out of pity, is going over in his mind his own falls or those of other erring people, he is touched by delight in this most subtle attack and gives his assent to it. Then what was taken up and begun with a show of goodness comes to a filthy and damaging end. For “there are ways that seem right to men, but their ends will come to the depths of hell.”