When the Weak Will Not Be Borne With

I did not say that the strength and endurance of a strong and sturdy man would be overcome. I said that the wretched state of the weak man, encouraged by the tolerance of the perfect and growing worse every day, is sure to give rise to reasons why he himself should no longer be borne with. Or else, shrewdly suspecting that his neighbor’s patience shows up and sets off his own impatience, sooner or later he chooses to make off rather than always be borne with by the other’s greatness of heart. [a]

This, then, is what we think those who want to keep the affection of their companions unbroken should observe above everything else. First of all, when a monk is provoked by any wrong, he should keep not only his lips but even the depths of his heart unmoved. But if he finds that they are even slightly disturbed, let him hold himself in by complete silence, and carefully keep what the psalmist speaks of: “I was troubled, and I did not speak,” and, “I said, I will watch my ways, so that I do not sin with my tongue. I set a guard on my mouth when the sinner stood against me. I was mute and was humbled, and kept silent from good things.” He should pay no attention to his present state, and not give vent to what his violent rage suggests and his exasperated mind puts into words at the moment. Instead he should dwell on the sweetness of their past love, or look ahead in his mind to the renewal and restoration of peace, and see it even in the very hour of rage, as though it were sure to return shortly. While he is saving himself for the delight of the harmony soon to come, he will not feel the bitterness of the present quarrel. He will easily give such answers that, when love is restored, he will not be able to accuse himself of guilt or be blamed by the other. In this way he will fulfill these words of the prophet: “In wrath remember mercy.”