The Strong Man Yields to Another’s Will

But you must certainly understand that in general the one who subjects his own will to his brother’s plays a stronger part than the one who is found more stubborn in defending and clinging to his own decisions. For the first, by bearing with his neighbor and putting up with him, earns the character of being strong and vigorous. The second earns that of being weak and sickly, someone who must be pampered and humored, so that sometimes, for the sake of his peace and quiet, it is good to relax something even in necessary matters. And indeed, the one who yields need not imagine that in this he has lost anything of his own perfection, even though by yielding he has given up something of the strictness he intended. On the contrary, he may be sure that he has gained much more by his virtue of forbearance and patience. For this is the apostle’s command: “You who are strong should bear the weaknesses of the weak,” and, “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” For a weak man will never support a weak man, nor can one who suffers from the same complaint bear with or cure one in poor health. It is one who is himself not subject to weakness who brings remedies to one in poor health. For to the weak man it is rightly said: “Physician, heal yourself.” [a]