To Cyrus, on the Death of His Wife and Son

I was deeply distressed to hear of the trouble that has come upon you. How indeed could I fail to suffer, when I make your concerns my own and remember the apostolic law that tells us not only to “rejoice with those who rejoice,” but also to “weep with those who weep”? Suffering itself can draw even those who are at enmity with one another into sympathy. [a]

What is so hard to bear as losing a wife? A wife who carried the yoke of marriage blamelessly, who made her husband’s life pleasant, who shared the care of the family; who managed the household and had a share in directing everything; who was ready to suggest whatever might be useful, and to go along with her husband’s wishes. But what sorrow could be greater than laying in the tomb, at the same moment as the mother, the son she bore? A son who had been carefully trained and had received a learned education; one who, you hoped, would be the support of your old age; buried in the very spring of his manhood, when the down was just beginning to grow on his cheeks. [c]

If we looked only at the nature of the calamity, it would admit of no comfort. But when we remember that our race is doomed to die, that the divine sentence has gone out against that race, and that suffering is common to all, since life is full of such sorrows, we will bear bravely what has happened, drive back the attacks of despair, and raise that wonderful song of praise: “The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; the Lord has done what seemed good to him; blessed be the name of the Lord.” But we have many more reasons for comfort. We have been plainly taught the hopes of the resurrection, and we look for the time when the dead will live again. We know that the Lord many times called death sleep. If we trust the Savior’s words, as in truth we do, we are bound not to mourn those who have fallen asleep, even if their sleep lasts somewhat longer than usual. We must wait for the resurrection. We must remember that the Ruler of the world, in his wisdom, guides events for our good, since he clearly knows not only the present but the future as well. A wise man who knew all this very well reasons about deaths of this kind and says, “Yes, he was taken away quickly, so that wickedness would not alter his understanding.”

Let us submit, I beg you, to the wise Ruler of all; let us submit to his decrees. Whether they are pleasant or painful, they are good and profitable. They make people wise, and for those who endure they appoint crowns.