To the Consul Nomus, in His Own Defense

I enjoyed your lordship’s company for only a brief part of a day, for circumstances I could not avoid deprived me of what I so earnestly wanted. I had hoped that our short meeting would kindle goodwill and friendly dealings, but I was disappointed. I have now written you two letters without receiving any reply. And by the imperial decree I am forbidden to travel beyond the boundaries of Cyrrhus. For this apparent punishment there is no cause except that I convened a synod of bishops. No charge was published; no accuser appeared; the defendant was not convicted; but the sentence was passed. We submit, for we know the reward of those who are wronged. I know, however, that Festus, the procurator entrusted with the government of the Jews, when they demanded the death of the divine Paul, answered publicly, “It is not lawful for us Romans to hand over any man before the accused has met his accusers face to face and has had the opportunity to answer for himself concerning the charge laid against him.” Now these words were spoken by a man who did not believe in our Master, Christ, but was a slave to the errors of the worship of many gods. [a]

I was never asked whether I was assembling synods or not, or why I was assembling them, or what offense this could give either to the church or to the government. Yet I am barred from visiting other cities as though I were a very guilty criminal. Every city lies open to everyone else, and not only to Arians and Eunomians, but to Manichaeans and Marcionites, to those sick with the unsound teaching of Valentinus and Montanus, yes, even to pagans and Jews; while I, a leading champion of the teaching of the Gospels, am shut out of every city. Some, however, claim that I do not hold to that teaching. Then let there be a council. Let the godly bishops who are able to judge be assembled there; then let those in office and in rank who have been instructed in divine learning be assembled too. Let me state what I hold, and let the judges declare which opinion agrees with the teaching of the Apostles. I have not written this from any wish to see the great city, nor because I am trying to travel to any other. In fact I rather love the quiet of those whose wish is to govern their churches in the manner of monks.

I would like your excellency to know that neither in the time of the blessed and sainted Theodotus, nor in that of John of blessed memory, nor in that of the most holy lord bishop Domnus, did I ever go to Antioch of my own accord. Five or six times I was invited, and I agreed only with difficulty. And when I did agree, it was in obedience to the canon of the church which orders that anyone who is summoned to a synod and refuses to attend is to be held guilty. And when I was there, what did I do that displeased God? Was it that I struck from the sacred lists the names of this man and that, guilty of unspeakable wickedness? Was it that I ordained to the priesthood men of good character and honorable life? Was it that I preached the gospel to the people? If these things deserve indictment and punishment, I gladly welcome still heavier punishments for their sake.

My accusers force me to speak. Even before I was conceived, my parents promised to dedicate me to God. From my swaddling clothes they dedicated me as they had promised, and they brought me up accordingly. The time before I became bishop I spent in a monastery, and then I was consecrated bishop against my will. For twenty-five years I so lived that I was never summoned to court by anyone, and never brought a charge against anyone. Not one of the devout clergy under me ever frequented the courts. In all those years I never took so much as an obol or a garment from anyone. Not one of my household servants ever received a loaf or an egg. I could not bear the thought of owning anything except the rags I wore. From the revenues of my see I put up public porticoes. I built two large bridges. I looked after the public baths. Finding that the city was not watered by the river that runs past it, I built the aqueduct and supplied the dry town with water. But to leave these things aside: I led eight villages of Marcionites, with the country around them, into the way of truth. Another village full of Eunomians, and another of Arians, I brought to the light of divine knowledge, and by God’s grace not a single weed of heresy was left among us. I did not accomplish all this unscathed. Many a time I shed my blood; many a time they stoned me and brought me to the very gates of death. But I am a fool in my boasting; still, my words are spoken out of necessity, not by choice. The thrice-blessed Paul was once forced to act in the same way to stop the mouths of his accusers. Yet I put up with this apparent disgrace and count it a high honor, for I hear the voice of the Apostle crying out, “All who want to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution.”

But I beg your excellency to give attention to the affairs of the church and to calm the storm that has arisen. In fact, not even at the beginning of the dispute was the church beset by such confusion. No one tells you how great the danger is, or of the laments of the Christians in Phoenicia and the wailing of our holiest monks. That is why I have written to you at some length, so that, on learning of the turmoil in the church, your excellency may put a stop to it and reap the fruits of the good that such action will bring.