Homily 60 — Matthew 18, verses 15 to 20

“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.” [a]

He had spoken sharply against those who cause others to stumble, and had filled them with fear on every side. But those who are made to stumble might, for their part, grow careless because of this. Thinking that the whole blame lay on others, they might slide into another vice: going soft, wanting to be humored in everything, and running aground on the rock of pride. So see how he checks them too. He commands that the fault be told between the two of them alone, so that the witness of many would not make the accusation heavier, and so that the other man, stirred up to resist, would not stay beyond correction.

That is why he says, “between you and him alone,” and, “If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.” What does “If he listens to you” mean? If he condemns himself; if he is persuaded that he has done wrong.

“You have gained your brother.” He did not say, “You have had revenge enough,” but, “You have gained your brother,” to show that the quarrel is a loss to both. He did not say, “He has gained himself only,” but, “You too have gained him.” By this he showed that both men were losers before this: the one had lost his brother, the other his own salvation.

He gave this advice when he sat on the mountain too. At one time he brought the one who had caused the pain to the one who had been hurt, saying, “Be reconciled to your brother.” At another he commanded the one who had been wronged to forgive his neighbor, for he taught people to say, “Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.”

But here he is devising another way. He does not now call on the one who caused the pain; he brings the one who was hurt to him. The man who did the wrong would not easily come to apologize, out of shame and embarrassment, so Christ draws the other man to him — and not simply that, but in a way that also sets right what was done. He does not say, “Accuse him,” or “Charge him,” or “Demand satisfaction and an account.” No: “Tell him his fault,” he says. For the other man is held in a kind of stupor, drunk with anger and shame. You, who are healthy, must go to the one who is sick. Make the court a private one, and the remedy one he can readily accept. To say, “Tell him his fault,” means nothing else than, “Remind him of his errors.” Tell him what you have suffered at his hands. If this is done as it should be, it is the part of someone who is pleading his case for him and earnestly drawing him toward reconciliation.

What then, if he refuses to listen and is set on staying hard?

“Take with you one or two more, so that by the mouth of two witnesses every word may be established.” The more shameless and bold he is, the more active we ought to be for his cure — not in anger and indignation. A physician, too, when he sees that an illness is stubborn, does not give up or grow impatient; that is when he prepares all the more. And this is what Christ commands us to do in this case as well.

Since you seemed too weak on your own, make yourself stronger by this addition; surely two are enough to convict the one who has sinned. Do you see how he seeks the good not only of the one who was hurt, but also of the one who caused the hurt? For the one who has really been harmed is this man, the one taken captive by his passion. He is the one who is sick and weak and feeble. That is why Christ sends the other to him again and again, now alone, now with others, and, if he persists, even with the church. “Tell it to the church,” he says. If he were seeking only the other man’s advantage, he would not have commanded us to forgive a man who repents seventy times seven. He would not so many times have set so many over him to correct his passion. If the man had stayed beyond correction after the first talk, he would have let him be. But as it is, he commands us to try to cure him once, twice and three times, now alone, now with two, now with more.

That is why he says nothing of this kind about those outside. There he says, “If anyone strikes you on your right cheek, turn to him the other also.” But here it is not so. This is what Paul means when he says, “What have I to do with judging those outside?” As for the brothers, he commands that their faults be told them, that they be avoided, and, if they will not obey, that they be cut off, so that they may be ashamed. Christ himself does the same here, when he makes these laws about the brothers. He sets three over the man as teachers and judges, to teach him what he did while he was drunk. For although it was he himself who said and did all those unreasonable things, he will need others to teach him this, like a drunken man. Anger and sin are more frenzied than any drunkenness, and throw the soul into greater confusion.

Who, for example, was wiser than David? Yet for all that, when he had sinned he did not see it, for his lust held all his powers of reasoning in subjection and filled his soul like smoke. So he needed a lamp from the prophet, and words to call to his mind what he had done. That is why here too Christ brings these men to the one who has sinned, to reason with him about what he has done.

But why does he command this man, and not someone else, to tell him his fault? Because the wrongdoer will bear it more quietly from this man — the one who was wronged, who was hurt, who was treated with contempt. A person does not take it the same way when someone else points out his fault toward the man he insulted as when the insulted man does it himself, especially when he confronts him alone. When the very man who ought to be demanding justice against him is seen to care for his salvation, nothing in the world will do more to shame him. [g]

Do you see that this is done not for the sake of just punishment but for his correction? That is why he does not command him to take the two along at once, but only when he has failed on his own. And even then he does not send a crowd against him; he adds no more than two, or even one. Only when the man has disregarded these as well does he bring him out before the church.

So great is his concern that our neighbor’s sins should not be exposed by us. He could have commanded this from the start. But so that it would not happen, he did not command it; he appoints it only after a first and a second warning.

But what does “By the mouth of two or three witnesses every word will be established” mean? You have enough testimony. What he means is that you have done your whole part, and have left undone none of the things that were yours to do.

“But if he refuses to listen to them also, tell it to the church” — that is, to its leaders — “and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a pagan and a tax collector.” After this, such a man is sick beyond cure.

But notice, I beg you, how everywhere he puts the tax collector forward as the example of the greatest wickedness. Earlier he says, “Do not even the tax collectors do the same?” And further on again, “Even the tax collectors and the prostitutes will go before you into the kingdom of heaven” — that is, those who are utterly rejected and condemned. Let those listen who are rushing after unjust gain, who are counting up interest upon interest! But why did he put the man with these? To soothe the one who was wronged, and to alarm the other. Is this the only punishment, then? No; hear what follows as well: “Whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven.” He did not say to the leader of the church, “Bind such a man,” but, “If you bind,” entrusting the whole matter to the aggrieved person himself; and the bonds remain unbreakable. So the man will suffer the worst of evils. Yet the one who called him to account is not to blame, but the one who would not be persuaded.

Do you see how he has tied him down with a double constraint, both by vengeance here and by punishment hereafter? But he threatened these things so that they would not happen: so that, afraid of being cast out of the church, of the danger of the bond, and of being bound in heaven, the man would become gentler. Knowing these things, if not at the beginning, then at least before so many courts, he will put aside his anger. That is why, I tell you, he has set over him a first, a second and a third court. If he refuses to listen to the first, he may give way to the second; if he rejects that too, he may fear the third; and if he makes nothing even of this, he may be shaken by the vengeance to come, by the sentence and judgment that will come from God.

“Again I tell you that if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father who is in heaven. For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there I am in the midst of them.”

Do you see how by yet another motive he puts down our hostilities, takes away our petty quarrels, and draws us to one another? He does this not only by the punishment already mentioned, but also by the good things that spring from love. Having threatened those penalties against quarrelsomeness, he sets here the great rewards of harmony: those who are of one mind even prevail with the Father in what they ask, and have Christ in their midst.

“Are there, then, nowhere two people of one mind?” Yes, in many places — perhaps even everywhere. “Then how is it that they do not obtain everything?” There are many reasons why they fail. Often they ask for things that are not good for them. And why are you surprised if this happens to some others, when it happened even to Paul? He heard, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness.” Or they are unworthy to be counted with those who heard these words, and do not contribute their own part; he is looking for people like them. That is why he says “of you” — of the virtuous, of those who display an angelic way of life. Or they pray against those who have hurt them, seeking redress and vengeance, and this kind of thing is forbidden, for he says, “Pray for your enemies.” Or they ask for mercy while their sins are unrepented, and that is impossible to receive — not only if they ask it themselves, but even if others who have great boldness before God plead for them. So Jeremiah, when he prayed for the Jews, heard, “Do not pray for this people, for I will not hear you.”

But if everything is in place — if you ask for things that are good for you, contribute your whole part, live the life of the apostles, and have harmony and love toward your neighbor — you will obtain what you ask, for the Lord loves humankind.

Then, because he had said “by my Father,” he added, to show that it is he himself who gives, and not only the one who begot him, “For wherever two or three are gathered together in my name, there I am in the midst of them.” [l]

What then? Are there not two or three gathered together in his name? There are, but rarely. For he is not speaking merely of meeting together, and that is not all he requires. Certainly, as I said before, he requires the rest of virtue along with it, and besides that, he requires even this itself with great strictness. What he is saying is something like this: “If anyone holds me to be the chief reason for his love toward his neighbors, I will be with him, provided he is a virtuous man in other respects.”

But as it is, we see most people with other motives for friendship. One loves because he is loved; another because he has been honored; a third because someone has been useful to him in some other worldly matter; a fourth for some other such reason. But it is hard to find anyone who loves his neighbor for Christ’s sake, sincerely and as he ought to love him. Most people are bound to one another by their worldly affairs. Paul did not love like this, but for Christ’s sake. That is why, even when he was not loved in the way he loved, he did not stop loving, for he had planted a strong root of affection. But our present state is not like that. If we look into it, we will find that with most people anything at all is more likely to produce friendship than this. And if someone gave me the power to make this inquiry in so great a crowd, I would show you that most are bound to one another by worldly motives.

This is clear, too, from the causes of hostility. Because they are bound to one another by these passing motives, they are neither warm toward one another nor constant. An insult, a loss of money, envy, love of empty glory, anything of that kind that comes upon them, cuts the tie of love, for it finds that the root is not spiritual. If it were, nothing worldly would dissolve what is spiritual. Love for Christ’s sake is firm, unbreakable and impregnable; nothing can tear it apart — not slanders, not dangers, not death, nothing else of the kind. The one who loves in this way may suffer countless things, but he looks to the reason for his love and does not give up. The one who loves because he is loved stops loving when he meets with anything painful; but the one bound by this love never gives up.

That is why Paul also said, “Love never fails.” For what can you say? That when he was honored he insulted you? That after receiving kindness from you he wanted to kill you? But if you love for Christ’s sake, even this moves you to love more. The very things that destroy love in other cases here become the means of producing it. How? First, because such a man is the cause of rewards for you. Second, because a man in that state needs more help and much care. So I say that the one who loves like this does not ask about race, or country, or wealth, or the other’s love for him, or anything else of that kind. Though he is hated, though he is insulted, though he is killed, he goes on loving, for Christ is reason enough for his love. That is why he stands steadfast and firm, not to be overthrown, looking to him.

For Christ too loved his enemies in this way. He loved the stubborn, those who wronged him, those who blasphemed him, those who hated him, those who would not even look at him, those who preferred wood and stones to him; and he loved them with the highest love, beyond which no other can be found. “Greater love has no man than this,” he says, “that one lay down his life for his friends.”

And see how he goes on treating with kindness even those who crucified him and treated him with such contempt in so many ways. He even speaks to his Father for them, saying, “Forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” And after these things he even sent his disciples to them.

Let us too imitate this love, then; let us look to this, so that as followers of Christ we may attain both the good things here and those to come, by the grace and love for humankind of our Lord Jesus Christ, to whom be glory and might forever and ever. Amen.