The First Letter from Raphel van den Velde, Written to his Wife

Grace and peace from God our heavenly Father, and our Lord Jesus Christ, be with you, my dear wife, beloved in God; and may the supreme Comforter, the Holy Ghost, be with you and console you, and lighten your heart in all your tribulation and affliction, which I well know are exceedingly great. So I hope to write a little to your love, for your comfort; for I hope it will be a great comfort to you when you read it, just as my own heart was exceedingly comforted and made glad when I received your letter, on Wednesday, about five or six o'clock [in the afternoon], when in the morning. I had been tortured from about eight until ten o'clock. I thank the Lord that He kept my mouth, so that no one need be troubled by it; for when I had been laid on the bench, I did not open my mouth to accuse anyone, but cried, sighed, and prayed to God. The lords said

"Listen to us, and we will shorten the pain; indeed, we are sorry that we must inflict it on you." But when I would not listen to them, lying there bound, with ropes twisted tightly around my shins and thighs and over my heart, and my arms tied together behind my back, so that they lay under my loins, and a cord with knots put around my head, which lay on a pebble stone, they began to wind it with an iron chain, so that I thought nothing else but that they were winding and crushing my head all to pieces; and on my thighs and shins as well, so that it seemed to me that all my bones, flesh, veins, and sinews were going to pieces. Then I thought: O Lord, what torture this is! O Lord, I will not be able to endure it. O Lord, help me now, for the distress is great. Then I composed myself, and committed the matter to God; and at once all my members became as dead, and the lords kept calling: "Tell, tell; and we will shorten your pain." And when I still would not tell, they spoke in Latin to Master Hans, and then he went and tied two cords fast to my big toes, in the form of a double knot, and stretched me out by them, which caused me terrible pain. When I still would not tell, they had the cords on my thighs and shins twisted still more tightly, and the knots pained me so that I thought I must die. And still they kept calling: "Speak, speak; and we will shorten your pain." Then I thought: "O Lord, how will I be able to endure this; must it last long yet?" Then the thought came into my mind that the eternal pain would be still greater, and would last forever. Then I took courage again, and cried to God: "Help me in this distress, that I may not bring my neighbor into the same affliction." And the Lord gave me such courage that I resolved rather to die on the bench, and I kept silent. And as they still did not get anything from me that would implicate my neighbor, Master Hans took water (the whole time a cloth had lain on my face), and holding my nose shut with one hand, he began to pour water on my abdomen and from there all over my breast, and into my mouth, just as one would drink when he is very thirsty. I think that the can he poured the water from held about three pints. And when I was at the end of my breath and wanted to draw breath, I drew all the water into my body, and then I suffered such distress that it would be impossible for me to tell or describe it; but the Lord be praised forever: He kept my lips. And when they still could not get anything from me, they had the cord that was on my thigh loosened and applied to a fresh place, and wound it much tighter than before, so that I thought he would kill me, and I began to shake and tremble greatly. He then went on to pour water into me again, so that I think he emptied four such cans, and my body became so full of it that twice it came back out at my throat. And so I became so weak that I fainted; for when I came out of my faint, I found myself alone with Master Hans and Daniel de Keyser. And Master Hans was so busy loosening all my cords that it seemed to me they were concerned about me. But the Lord took away a great deal of my pain every time; whenever it became so severe that I thought it was impossible to bear, my members became as dead. Eternal praise, thanks, honor, and glory be to the Lord; for when it was over I thought that, by the help of the Lord, I had fought a good fight.

I would write you much more about it, but I leave it till another time. So, my dear wife, let us thank God for His grace. On Monday I did not think that I was coming to such a happy week; and as for the bruises from my torture, I hope it will be well, but it must have its time. Do not grieve over my sufferings, but praise God in this matter, for my mind, I hope, is unchanged and immovable; for even if they should torture me twice more, I hope to endure everything they inflict on me. But it may indeed be called torture, for it is a great pain. I am also ready not only to let myself be tortured, but also always to let my flesh be burned alive at the stake for the truth. I must also write you something about the joy and gladness I now have in the Lord; how the Lord strengthens, comforts, and gladdens my heart when I consider the Scriptures, that I, who am such an unworthy man, may share in Christ's sufferings; I can now say with the apostle that I bear the marks of Christ in my members. Galatians 6, verse 17.

Further, my dearest, I let your love know that I received your letter, and my heart was greatly comforted and made glad by it, so that for joy I could not keep from weeping; which was a sure sign of godly sorrow, and that works to salvation. Second Corinthians 7, verse 10. Thus I understood from it your great grief, much greater than you can say or write. But, my dearest, I beg you by the mercies of God, that you will lay aside your grief over me to some extent, and remember how, or in what manner, we received each other from the hand of the Most High; was it not on the condition that the Lord should always be the dearest, and that we must leave each other, if it be His holy will? And now your love knows well that this is certainly the will of the Lord, and nothing else; for if it had not been the will of the Lord, I would have escaped as well as you. So, my beloved, let us be moderate, and be content with such things as we have (Hebrews 13, verse 5), as I hope from your love that you will be; and, if you think it well, rather let the girl go, and keep your child with you. And in the meantime, teach him something yourself, and diligently keep him busy at something with you. But above all, I beg you, take good care of yourself, for the proctor general questioned me much about you, and at various times they asked me about my brother, but I did not answer them about it; though they knew it well already, as they said. And Daniel de Keyser came into my cage, and also asked me much about my brother. They also questioned me about my child, and whether he was not baptized, which I told them; so take good care, or perhaps they might take him, and greater trouble might come of it. We shall probably have time to write more about this matter; but now I write only a little of this and a little of that, for my head is not in a condition to write much, but I hope it will improve. Today I have been greatly tired with speaking against two Jesuits about our faith, in the presence of the clerk of the criminal court, and Master Jacob Hesseling, the proctor general, and a councilor; but the Lord be praised and thanked forever, they had to give up in disgrace.

I hope before long to write more fully about everything. Tell my dear brother also to write something, and greet him much for me, as also his wife, and my dear sister, with the peace of the Lord, and that they write me something, since I am exceedingly burdened and concerned for them. And take good care, for no one knows what bonds are except the one who tries them; this I may well say, for which I thank and praise the Lord with a joyful heart. I hope I am past the worst, and my heart is much resigned in suffering or affliction, and in death; but when I begin to think of parting from my love, and my dear son, then I cannot compose my heart so easily. But this comforts me much, that my child can keep his mother. And do not be too anxious, my love; the Most High cares for you and also for your child; and our dear Lord has shown us much grace, that He has let us live together so long. Indeed, do not be too anxious, this I beg you, my love; but cast your care entirely and gladly on the Lord; He will provide for you, and give you another husband in my place, if it be for your good. Psalm 55, verse 22; First Peter 5, verse 7; Philippians 4, verse 6.

With this I will commend you, my dearest wife and sister in the Lord, to Almighty God and to the rich word of His grace; adieu, my love.

Oh, you have been such a good and excellent housekeeper to me; O my love, I thank you from the depths of my heart for your great faithfulness and willing service, which you have so faithfully shown me in all obedience. And I beg you all, dear friends, to help me diligently in praying to the Lord, for it is now time; the conflict is nearing its height, this I well experience, and I expect that Jeronymus, our brother, will experience it too; the Lord be gracious to him; I comfort him now and then, as best I can.

Greet Vintgen from me with the peace of the Lord, and let me know how it went with them all. Greet Jan and Klaerken from me; and K., and tell him to write me something. And also greet in my name all those who fear God, and always keep company with the righteous, and you will become more righteous still. Adieu, adieu.

Written in the dark, on the 24th of May, in the year 1576. Adieu, my wife; adieu, my child.

On Thursday the 24th of May I was brought before the lords once more, and two Jesuits sat there. I was very feeble from the torturing. They began and asked me why I had let myself be led astray so long, and questioned me about my faith. Then I said: "Have I come here to teach you? By no means. Do you confess your faith to me? I have come to be instructed." Then he began to confess his faith, just like children who are learning. "Well, this is my faith," he said. Then I said: "Prove it with the Word of God, and I will believe it too." Then he began from John 3, that the children must be baptized; also from Mark 16 and Matthew 28, where he so entangled himself that he did not see how he could get out of it; and he went from there [he went on] to circumcision, where likewise he did not know what to do. Finally they had to confess that it did not apply to baptism, which greatly surprised me. And when they saw that everything they did went backwards, they all began to talk Latin at the same time, and I sat there and looked on. Eamus (let us go), they said, and they wanted to go, for it struck eleven, and we had come together a little after eight. And when they were determined to go, I said: "I beg you, my lords, write your faith down for me, so that I can consider it." But they would not do it. "If you do not believe our words," they said, "you would not believe our writing."

Oh, I thought, if I could get that, I would have you; I would soon show you that your faith is not contained in the Scriptures.

Further, on the 25th of May the penitentiary came from the bishop, and another, and Friar Pieter de Backer, and they approached me very subtly. They led me up on a very high mountain, and [said that] if I would yield just a little, all would be well. Master Jacob Heyselinck said, "Yes," he would help me, and the matter was in his power; that I should only seem to recant a little: "Dear Raphel, how sorry I am; it pierces me to my very heart." Then I said: "O my lords, you say that I should recant a little. This I will gladly do; indeed, I will recant altogether, if you can show me something better than the Word of God; but not otherwise, or my faith would not rest on the Word of God, but on the words of men, and I well know what the prophet says: 'Cursed be the man who trusts in man.' Jeremiah 17, verse 5. O my lords, that would not be conversion; you would have to prove it to me with the holy Scriptures, or we shall not do it." And after many words we parted once more, and I thanked them for their trouble. Some time afterward the clerk of the criminal court, the proctor, and Friar Pieter de Backer came and pleaded with me again. I said I was sorry that they pleaded with me. They said: "But we shall show it to you very clearly;" and began another mystery, concerning the incarnation of Christ. And when I began to answer, he put his Testament away. And they said many other things. Then I said: "If it is your pleasure, I shall reply to you about everything, one after the other;" and when they heard how I began to answer them, they slipped away and said adieu, and I did the same. And Friar Pieter said: "I shall come again in a day or two." "If you please," I said. "Oh," he said, "how sorry your mother must be." But I said nothing. And in the afternoon they sent me a book, entitled "The Shield against the Anabaptists," which I was to read; and in two or three days the penitentiary was to come to see me again.

Here, dear brothers and sisters, all of you, you may have heard whether I suffer temptation or not, but I write it only very briefly, or else it would take much too long to write. But the Lord be thanked for His great grace, who so faithfully strengthens me and governs my mouth to His praise. [n1152-1] Though the outward man perishes, this is a small loss; the inward man is renewed from day to day, for which eternal praise and thanks be to the Lord, for I may now well say with Pieter van Werwicke

"Noyt meerder vreught in my en was,

Als nu tot desen tijden,

Mijn treuren vergaet my also ras,

Godts woordt does my verblijden:

Als ick dencke op 't eeuwigh Goedt:

Och dan Krijgh ick sulck eenen moedt."

I cannot tell it (express the joy); indeed, I think that if every one of the hairs of my head were a tongue, I could not express it. And that they torment me with examinations, this I count a recreation, for I get out of my stinking hole every time, into the pure air, and this gladdens my heart.

With this I will commend you to the Lord, and to the rich word of His grace. Always try to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace, and purify your souls before the Lord, if perhaps God is pleased to let you fall into the same trouble; if one is not a good Christian beforehand, one can hardly become one here, this I well experience. O dear brothers and sisters, I beg you by the love of God and our Lord Jesus Christ, that you will show love to my dearly beloved wife and my dear child, in all love, in unity, in kindness, and in patience. Bear with one another in love, this I beg you from the bottom of my heart, and consider what trouble she is now in. You are also sorry on my account, for which I thank you, for it is godly sorrow; but she has the greatest reason to be sorrowful. Oh, she has lost so much, and my son too; but I must resign myself in this, for it is the will of the Lord; who will hinder it? Oh, when I think of her and her grief, and of my child, I cannot restrain myself; but I hope that the Lord will help me in this too. I beg you by the love of God. O brothers, my dear brother, write me once how she is situated, how it is with her tribulation, and with my dear son.

O my dear son, I am taken from you too soon. O dear brothers, do this much for my sake, and for the Lord's sake; you will thereby bring such great comfort to my heart. Oh, it seems to me that I have not heard anything for such a long time, and of my son I do not know that I have had any news; nor of our Tanneken. O poor lamb! Adieu, my dear brother; adieu, my dear sister; adieu to all your little ones.

Adieu, adieu; may God grant grace that we may rejoice hereafter. Written by me, Raphel, your weak brother in the Lord, with many tears and sighs; not on my own account, as though my mind were ill at rest—God forbid, in eleven years it was never better, the Lord be thanked; but it is my weak nature. If I have written too little or too much about anything, excuse me, since my mind is much occupied, and my mind is getting confused from all the troubles. Written the 25th of May, in the year 1576.

RAPHEL VAN DEN VELDE.